Violinist in Balance

Describing the problem
I think that violinists are not aware of their body because we aren’t usually taught to be. All my life my violin teachers tell me “You have no balance.” But if I don’t know what balance is I cannot have it. It’s like when you tell a child, “Your bow is falling from your hand, you need to hold it with your pinky finger.” He can’t do it though. Why? Because he isn’t strong enough! You can speak about it for years and still the bow is going to fall. But if you do some exercises for making the pinky stronger, he will have balance in his hand immediately and then he can hold the bow. So don’t talk to me about balance! When these kinds of things are said in a very philosophical way they make you even stiffer. Yes, I didn’t have balance, but please tell me why? I couldn’t understand them!